The other day I was googling how to emotionally numb yourself (I am the most dramatic person lol wth) and came across a wiki how page which seemed useful but actually wasn’t. It suggested that when you’re stressed out that you should write down your feelings. It had a set of questions that you’d write your personal answers to on a piece of paper and then you’d feel better. Anyway it helped but it didn’t emotionally numb me ahahha. If anything it made me happier lol. so maybe that was their secret goal???

The thing I was stressing over was so classic but it was still stressful. I think that sometimes it’s easy to think stress over boys and girls and friends and ppl you don’t like and instagram likes and stuff like that is dumb and so you want to get over it and emotionally numb yourself to it lol. but also I was thinking that that kind of stress is mainly something young people experience so it won’t be there one day when you’re old. Like one day you won’t care if your tweet was funny, you won’t care if u look peng for the person u fancy and u won’t wonder why everyone watches your weird stories???

For example, say you’re going to a party and you’re gunna see a boy or girl u fancy and you’re pranging and you’re so scared ahhh. You stress out for weeks like what are u gunna wear?? What are u gunna say?? eeek! And then u end up having a great night and then in two months you’re going out (@nick dibble). Then (now that you’re going out) you go to another party and you don’t have that stress of what do I wear?? What do i say?? Cos it’s all sorted out. And I find that quite sad.

Cos being young is my favourite thing about myself. And being young means I have troubles that only a young person can have. For example my mum (great woman) doesn’t go to parties with my dad thinking ‘omg do u think he’ll speak to me tonight?? eeek’ cos she’s an adult who’s got it sorted. But I’m a teenager who has nothing sorted. And I’ve come to love that. Every party I like to prang because, when u actually think about it, it’s fun.

I was on twitter the other day, would u believe, and saw a post of an old lady in the toilets with young girls. She told the girls she missed going out with her friends. And I thought it was so sad cos I WILL be that lady one day and I know it. I’ll look back and think ‘why did I spend so long crying about stuff when actually I want nothing more than someone to fancy me again??’ Like I will be that lonely old person who wants nothing more than the good old days.

Idk if I’m explaining this well but it’s like when you were 7 y/o and you just really wanted to be 16 so you could be more independent. But then you turned 16 and you look back at being 7 y/o and think how much more fun it was to be 7 and how you wasted so much time wishing you were older. It’s the same now. You look forward for these kinds of stresses being over but once they’re gone you’ll be left wishing you appreciated it a bit more.

I swear I’ll look back and wish I could go back to this time. This time when you have the stresses over the person you fancy, the people you have to avoid, the playlist for your party. So now I walk down the corridor knowing it’ll be awkward when I have to encounter specific people, but just live it. When I snapchat someone at the wrong time and hate myself, I just laugh cos wtf. Like it’s funny and such a young person thing to do. When you say something to some one u wish u never said, just think will I care in 5 years?? Cos I bet the answer is no. And that’s my point you won’t care in five years so give those stresses a bit of love whilst they last.

Everyone tries to tell our generation that the things we worry about are dumb and we should learn about ‘real stresses’ but it’s just cos they’re jealous lol. We are able to worry about ‘juvenile’ things cos we don’t pay taxes

So idk. I always forget I go off on such a tangent when I write these lol. But basically next time you’re really worrying about something in the realm of boys and girls and likes and fancies and instas and twitter, don’t try and distance yourself from it cos it’s a waste of those feelings that won’t last a lifetime. I’m not saying embrace it cos lord knows how shit it can be sometimes. I’m just saying acknowledge that there is an element of fun to the unbearable pain of fancying someone who doesn’t care :)))