I think a constant state of my mind is c o n f l i c t e d. Like switching between 3-4 options always going around and around and around the same things over and over stuck in a weird position of where am I?? If you don’t get that YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!! But I think most people do and I think we tell ourselves that no one else gets stuck in that situation.

It’s easy to look at someone and think ‘shit, they’ve got their shit together, they’re on a road to success. Wish I could be u’ but if you talk to them they will most probably be in a similar position about something. The state of being confused is one of the worst, because you just don’t know. It’s horrible for someone like me cos I’m very used to being like ‘I make up my own mind’ but when I can’t do that, it’s terrifying cos i just get overly stressed. And then you think ‘why am I stressing’ and this is what I mean by CIRCLES. (I do actually think that same mistakes by one direction is one of those songs that will always be relevant to my life. Like ever since 2011 hearing that song I was like ME cos I’ve evidently always been the most overconfident, over analytical overthinker EVER :))) )

I continually make the same mistakes hahahah. And there’s that stupid saying ‘you learn from your mistakes’ but how true is that?? Like realistically?? Cos you might not go about smaking the mistake in the same way but, if it’s in your nature then surely you’ll just make the mistake again? Idk I could be wrong. I just started listening to same mistakes, and I do agree with my earlier statement very much ahahah

The bad thing is though, a lot of people I know work themselves up into a state, including myself, and can’t get out of it. By working yourself up, you’re basically telling yourself there is no way out of the mess you’re in. And that’s the scariest part because you begin to believe a lie YOU’VE implanted in YOUR head.

But I think as soon as we look at someone else’s stresses, we can see that there is often a clear route out of stress. But there is somehow no clear route for our own stress. I think it’s easy to look at someone’s life and think ‘this is how you should do it’ but so so hard to do it for ourselves. And when someone advises you, it often makes things worse.

The thing about stress is it can make you feel alienated. You want to segregate yourself from everyone and all activities cos it’s easier. It seems easier to take time out to think. But when you leave yourself to OVERthink about stuff. Overthinking is one of the worst things you can do, and I’ve been told by so many people ‘you’re overthinking this’ or something like ‘stop overthinking’ and it’s like I can’t stop being me!! I can’t stop overthinking much like I can’t stop having skin lol. Like it’s in so many people’s nature to look too deep into things and over analyse and you can’t blame them. Cos honestly the person it’s affecting most is the person who’s overthinking. And I would know. I know a lot of people who are similar to me and it has genuinely ruined a few good opportunities for people, myself included. There are many things I feel like I can’t do and will never be able to do (even if I want to) cos I’ll overthink it and overthink the consequences and I’ll work myself up to just abandon the thing i stressed over. This is probs cos it’s easier to do abandon something than to stress yourself out when you could just leave it, even if leaving it makes you unhappy. Somehow that seems better than overthinking.

If you’re a person who doesn’t overthink, I think the best thing you can avoid saying to someone who’s overthinking is ‘don’t overthink’ cos the person will just be like ?¿ stfu thank you for telling me the story of my life.

I basically wrote this because I know that stress is lonely and scary and S H IT. But knowing other people understand your stresses is very comforting. Even if someone says ‘I completely understand, that must be horrible!’ You feel so much better because someone can see the actual emotional struggle you’re going through which is really nice to know that someone gets it. So if you’re stressing rn, please know that I get it. Know that if I see you randomly hit yourself in the lrc cos you’re overthinking, I get it cos SAME. Stress can make you feel very weak and powerless and I think anyone who is a regular at mollyiharley.com knows that those emotions are two of the worst. So I’m not here to say it’ll be fine and all your troubles will float away on clouds to Bali for a yoga retreat (please xxxx) I’m saying I get you and I know. I may not know your particular stress but I know how much of a stress being stressed is.

I’m also sorry if I’m being a bit too personal but I don’t think people talk about the actual emotion of being stressed enough and how crippling it can be. So hopefully at least one person will read this and at least be like, I’m glad mollyiharley.com isn’t just oozing self confidence, cos you can’t always be xxxx