So you know I’m not a cringey person so don’t read this in a cringey way read it in an empowering way cos that’s how I wrote it xxxxx

I can’t believe my actual life. I saw Beyoncé!!!! The real life beyonce!! Cringe but I feel so lucky and like proud idk why proud but I feel it so I’ll go with it. But probs because I have loved her for so long and what she represents has been incorporated into who I am. I mean this in the least disgusting way but just being in her presence and hearing her sing songs that have been with me for so long and made me realise things about myself was an experience I will never forget. Like hearing countdown which is the song that made me love to dance, like alone in my room, but none the less; dance. And to hear sorry which I sing at least 4 times a day in different circumstances like I could have left a note in the hallway or just when I am literally not sorry. And hearing a crowd of people sing love on top acapella ahhhh!!! And all the songs that mean something to me and everyone there.

I cried quite a lot tbf and I was thinking there is no similarities in the songs I cried to, like tempo, uplifting, sad like I cried at seemingly random times. Then I realised I actually cried at the ones about loving yourself. I know thats cringe but I’ve only fully had me to properly rely on from year 10 summer. Like ‘I would never disappoint myself’ (TY bey) Surrounding yourself with good people is necessary and I couldn’t live without my friends and I love them so much but I love me the most. #iaintsorry. I will never forget looking at beyonce looking into her eyes whilst she was singing and being so proud of myself. I feel like all the shit I’ve put up with so far was rewarded last night. Cos I was told by the queen of independence that I’m powerful and flawless and idk what more a gal like me could want. It was the ultimate reward for me.

When halo came on beyonce said ‘this is a love song so think about the person you love most in the world’ and I was like fuck idk who that is like I was literally thinking ‘fml I can’t enjoy this song cos who am I singing it to’ then my one and only Nick Dibble does his little hair flick, turns to me and says ‘im singing it to myself’ and I listened to halo as if I was talking to myself and it made the whole experience better.

This morning on the tube I was av sad for reasons I can’t explain but others can and then Nick keeps singing me, myself & I and so I did too and I just felt okay within 10 minutes, which has never happened to me before. When someone like beyonce talks about independence it’s not generalised like it feels so specific to you and I know I was in Wembley fucking stadium I couldn’t help but feel like it was for me.

I don’t cry that much like it’s not a thing I do that regularly and when I do cry it’s for other people and it’s normally happy tears like being proud. But I cried for me which is so so refreshing and I have one woman to thank and that’s my gal bey.

I really don’t know what I’d do without the people I look up to whether that’s harry styles, ice cube, my friends or beyonce. Idk how ppl don’t have idols like I do and I am in awe of you cos I couldn’t be who I am without them, especially beyonce.

If you have the opportunity to go to formation go. If you have the opportunity to listen to her albums watch her videos, do it and don’t do it for anything else but you. Like you are so important and so is beyonce and it’s not easy to love yourself like its fucking hard. It’s a really long process of constant knock downs and lift ups and then some idiot knocking u down again. But it’s worth it to be happy with who you are and what I’m saying is without beyonce I couldn’t have done it. Like I love myself a little bit more everytime I sing the ‘ooh we beebee freaky deaky…’ part in 7/11 a bit morre everytime I sing flawless remix, rocket and Yonce, more when my shoulders move uncontrollably to countdown and even more when I knew the majority of the monologue to lemonade.

And I have beyonce to thank for that and THANKYOU for letting me be in your presence and NICK!!! THANKYOU for being the only person I could go to that concert/experience with and being one of the best people xxxxxxx