I’ve accumulated a list of things I would advise someone who is my age to do. I’m not saying that what I’m about to say is what u should 100% follow and stuff, I’m just saying that from what I’ve done and what I haven’t done this is what I would do different or do exactly the same. Also I know that when people give advise like this it’s usually bullshit like ‘drop people who don’t care about you’ and to an extent some of these are like that. But cliches are cliches for a reason amirite??

1.keep a dairy

Lord knows I would be L O S T without my diary. Like I would have no idea how things panned out and how I have developed. My fave thing is to read my diary from the past whether it be yesterday’s entry or an entry I made in year 10 it’s so interesting to see how I differ and how I’ve stayed the exact same. I think it’s important to document your life cos when you’re old you can look back and know exactly how u felt and who u were. You can also see your mistakes in writing which is u know fun :))))) My fave thing about my diary is when I write a game plan for a party or a night out or something n then my next entry is like ‘I hate myself! nothing went to plan’ like it’s just a personal fun summary of your life.

2. If u wanna have a good summer, fucking S A V E!!

I’m not even kidding you, going on holiday can be cheap, like last year we went to Prague and it was really cheap for the amount of fun we had. But lord this year. I’m going on two holidays n it’s really costing an arm n a leg. So save a bit of money basically from year 11 until your year 13 hoilday Xo

3. Even if u are gunna be in debttt, go on holiday with your friends.

i literally cannot believe how many memories I made with Connie anna Rachel and chlo from 5 days in Prague. Like we’ve known each other since year 9ish basically and some of the funniest most memorable times we’ve ever had were in Prague. So even though I’m about to sell my dignity to stay somewhere over night in Amsterdam, it’s worth it cos I know the whole trip will be sooo jokes. It’s like you and your friends are in your own world cos nothing else can bother u n you’re not gunna run into anyone and you make all new friends and go to new places and it’s like being on another planet with your best friends for a few days. I can’t recommend enough!!!

4. Tell people you fancy them.

Literally ONG this one is like so painful but I mean it’s better than living in pain. I know it seems like my religion is telling ppl u fancy them but I honestly believe in it even if it’s never actually gotten me anywhere. Sometimes it won’t work out but I mean I have been known to spend a whole year fancying someone and then finally I acted upon it and we literally were not compatible but I spent a year!!! A fucking year fancying them lord never again. Well actually I would still do that again but this time they would have to at least know i exist hahahahah. It’s easier said than done 100% but u can say it so casually like i wish i could do a video demo to show ahahh but just like throw something at their face then shrug ur shoulders n say ‘sorry i just fancy u’ or just buy them a drink n they’ll be like ‘u don’t have to’ and you’ll say ‘i’m only doing it cos i fancy u’ and if they’re the one for u, you will know it in that moment from how they react. literally call me Mrs I Love Made-Up Scenarios. but honestly we big up fancying someone so much but really all ur saying is ‘i think ur peng n i wanna flirt with u more’ ur not saying u actually like them, so just dw about it. so yeah just tell people you fancy them otherwise it’s just peak

5. Don’t follow ‘the rules’ when it comes to fancying ppl

I know ur supposed to let the boy make the first move and you’re supposed to dress up n ur supposed to treat em mean keep em keen but fucking hell is that long. If you have fun doing it (cos it can be fun like really fun) then go for it but if you find it draining and slow paced which it can be, don’t follow those rules. if you have to play hard to get then, u know what happens when you’re no longer playing hard to get, the other person is like ‘??? I thought u weren’t a needy whiny girl who’s in love with me’ when actually, from the outset, that’s all u were, you were just hiding behind the facade of the game

6. Don’t overthink your tattoos.

This is so controversial but tbh you’re so young and you’re only young once I really think you just need to seize the moment and get a tattoo if u want one. Like people spend months n years thinking about it but I literally did the tattoo on my chest in Anastasia’s room before parents evening on a Thursday cos I needed a tattoo to go with my outfit for a party on the Friday. And it’s my fave tattoo. My second fave tattoo ‘nude’ I had no idea what font I wanted it to be until 10 mins before she did it when I was like ‘would it be cool to have it in connies handwriting??’ Now connies handwriting is on me forever. Like that’s way more fun than being like ‘I thought for a whole year planning and yep I defo like it.’ I’ve literally got half a diamond on the heel of my foot cos it hurt too much to put a diamond on the sole of my foot (shoe hehe) so u know just go with the flow cos when you’re dead lying in the morgue and the person is looking at this gross dead body would u rather them be like ‘wow cool wrinkled tattoo gal!!!’ or ‘ew what’s wrong with that toenail’

7. Don’t go home.

Probably one of the funniest nights of my life was with nick, Lucy florrie and jade when we really wanted to go home from a party but we had no way of getting back so we stayed there and we had the funniest night. Like if you’re with good people then it doesn’t matter where you are cos I’m 100% sure you will make good memories out of it. Like would u rather look back on a night and be like ‘yeah the party was shit and we couldn’t get a lift home but OMG it was so jokes when you spoke to that person and I almost died falling off a roundabout’ or would rather say ‘yeah the party was shit so we went home’

8. If you’re grinding for someone, grind for yourself.

The other day I realised there is no point and I mean no point trying to get a perfect body for a boy. By all means grind so u feel sexier and more confident when ur with ur s/o but don’t do it for them. And if they do want u to look different, are they even worth doing it for??? and I honestly mean this with my whole heart, from my experience boys do not care what your body looks like if you’re getting  i n t i m a t e  with them. Like honestly boys are so thirsty they’re just glad you’re even there. I’m doubtful they’re focusing on the size of ur arms or thighs and it’s not like they’re gunna turn round and say ‘sorry b, I can’t have sex with u tonight cos of ur rolls’   So if you want a perfect bod do it for yourself. Like don’t think you need a peng body to get a guy to fancy you cos literally all you need is you’re flirting to be at a 10 and you’ve got them. If you want your bum to look sickening and your stomach to be sexy in swimwear do it for you do not do it for a boy.

9. Be a vegetarian

Not even kidding you vegetarianism is the best decision of my life and I’ve made some good decisions in my time. I did it for environmental reasons but actually I’m so much healthier for it too. My skin glowed up and I feel so much more like alert. If you are gunna be a vegetarian though you do need to cook. It’s no good being a vegetarian if you just eat biscuits and pasta all the time like you do need to work a bit harder to create your meals but it’s so worth it. You try so many new foods and cooking is actually so fun. And it’s sick to eat something and know you’re being healthy and a good person. It’s so so easy and so good for the world so there’s not really an excuse people.

11. Use rose water

I read a thread on twitter and it said to use rose water in your facial routine and I cannot tell u how it’s changed my life. After the past month I’ve used it every morning and night before moisturiser and after a few weeks of my skin getting used to my new regime I’ve had 3 different ppl tell me my skin is G L O W I N G in this past week and I’ll tell u it’s rose water.  i have this one

12. If someone rejects you 4 times, give up

Hahah I know this goes against everything I’ve ever been told. Like everyone always says ‘keep trying you’ll make it one day’ but I’m not talking about revision or a job or something. I’m talking about people. Like if a person is not realising how peng or how sick you are then honestly darling that’s their loss. Cos it 100% won’t seem like that but just find comfort in the fact that one day they’ll see you killing it and they’ll be like ‘oh fuck I missed my chance :(((‘ Cos I’ve been in both positions; the decliner and the declined and they’re both peak. But it’s definitely worse to be the decliner in the long run. like looking at someone whilst they’re FINE without you and thinking that that could’ve been you. That’s really peak and there’s nothing u can do. so if after 4 tries they’re still not into it then they can 01-21-DO 1

13. But do try 4 times before you give up

3 times isn’t enough to know for sure and 5 times is too many. You may as well try a few times though.  But only if they’re REEEEEAAALLLLY peng and have pretty eyes.

14. Last but not least love love

I love love so much like I’m the biggest advocate for loving love. Like my favourite film is titanic and then the notebook and then Aladdin. Like I live for love. I feel like you wouldn’t expect me to love love but I honestly am in love with love itself. Watching two people connect on that level is just omg. It’s always happened to me that when I get excited about love I start excessively inhaling small breaths and holding them in my throat till I can’t talk properly and just have to whisper about how excited I am. If you feel bitter about people being in love scrap that. If u feel neglected by a friend who’s in a relationship scrap that. I have had my faiiir share of being neglected by people who are in relationships from bestfriends to my motherfucking sisters but honestly I’ve learnt to not care because your job as a friend or a sister or a brother is to see that when someone is in love it’s all encompassing and friendship is so different to love. Like they’re incomparable. like you can describe your friendship with someone but it’s hard to describe a romantic love you have for someone (or so I’ve heard). As a friend you need to be there when it’s really really good and they wanna tell u all about it and also when it’s really really bad and they wanna tell you about it. Being bitter about someone else being in love is so weak and pathetic and it isn’t fun. But watching two people in love oh my guddu I can’t breathe. (I’m actually well insightful for someone who’s never been in love.)

15. ps vote labour

cos you’re way to young to reap any benefits from the fucking tories